Loneliness

I stare at my ceiling,

not a thought in my mind.

They think I'm crazy,

I think they're right.

I want to be happy,

But I guess not this life.

I want them to see me,

to see what they made me.

I want them to hear me,

to hear what they've done.

I may be confounding,

I may be sad,

but if you love someone,

shouldn't you stick by them, make them glad?

I know the blame is partly mine,

I push them away due to scars I should have left far behind.

But it is not so easy,

after the loss of trust.

All the words behind my back,

All the looks widening my cracks.

I am glad to find the truth, don't get me wrong,

But I just wish it could have been a happier song.